I Remember

In honor of Fathers Day I wanted to share the first poem I wrote after my father passed away.



I remember the laughter
I remember the tears
I remember the surprises
I remember the fears

I remember the good times
can't forget the bad
I remember when you got sick
and all the guilt I had

I remember you being by my side
when I didn't feel well
And how you cleaned my scrapes
every time I fell

I remember walking on the beach
when things got a little rough
And now I know I must be strong
and as you said "Be Tough"

I remember the day that you left me
That day in January
But I want YOU to remember
I'll always be your little Karrie

I remember you as being here
and not as being gone
Forever and always
Your memory will live on

-April 21, 1997

Hope Emotions

Look far beyond the greens and blues
Behind the hills and past the moons
In front of dreams but not too far
From the faintest twinkle of a fading star

Just before the dawns first light
After the warmest summers night
Intact to all that's heard or seen
From high to low and in between

A newborns cry, the morning sun
Next to truth it cannot be undone
Deep within the oceans tide
Upon all things to which we confide

In fairy tales and movie screens
Even in out cries and screams
Hush now child please don't mope
For in everything, there lies hope.
-May 15, 2002

*This is by far my favorite poem that I have written.

Love Always, Your Daughter

When I needed you
You where there
Through laughter and tears
You remained strong for me
You always made things clear
Morning fishing trips
Late night drives
You taught me so much
From diapers to High School
I was but one life touched
But then far too soon
You were gone
The things I once knew
Would change all around me
I was lost without you
But then in my dreams
You were there
And for you, my father
I will remain strong
Love always, your daughter
-2003

*In loving memory of my father Michael Lee Smith September 20, 1952-January 25, 1997

The Hunt

Breath cold as ice
Slowly creeping
Quietly in the shadows
Stop

A sound is heard
Left, run!
Don't lose the sight
Strike

And with a howl
Hunger stops
As the sun sets
Sleep
-2003

*This one was an experiment of sorts :)

I...With...Yet...For...

I feel alone
With so many around me
Yet my heart feels empty
For you have stolen my love
I feel ashamed
Without a reason to be
Yet I am low
For you have knocked me down
I feel love
Without some in return
Yet you say you have given
For you have not to me
I feel you
With my eyes and heart
Yet I feel alone
For you are far away
-October 5, 1998

An Open Door

My love for you is like a tree
Growing stronger every day
Although storms may try to knock it down
It never fades away
My love for you is like the sun
It burns forever bright
Just like a shining star; always there
Never gone with the night
My love for you is like time
It never comes to a stop
Cause in my heart you memories
Are always on the top
My love for you is like a love
Which comes from deep inside
I let my heart open its door
Would you like to come inside?
-September 4, 1998

All Day Long

Like the dawn of a bright new day
My eyes open up
As I begin to stray
My heart unlocks its door
And upon my bed I lay
My mind slowly wonders
Steadily sleeping as I may
My thoughts and dreams of you
-March 23,1998

Never Hating

Hate is not only a feeling
but something from within
Never wanting the best of things
Always wasting
Never changing yourself for you
Never caring
Listening to what others say
Never minding
Lose this hate you have inside
Enter youself into a pride
Want the best for you and others
Change yourself for only you
Listen to what people say
Then ask yourself a question.
Is it worth it to hate?
-Date unknown

Choices

Like a newborn child opening its eyes
comes a fact most will never face
This child brings into the world
a joyous thing called faith
With this faith comes something more
something all should feel
A love so deep inside of you
but those are cards that YOU must deal
If you choose a winning hand
life will treat you right
If you chose to hate yourself
You'll enter blind into the night
-Date unknown

Loving Each Other

Distant love, hard yet strong
Loving each other truly
Being apart, for a short time or long
Loving each other faithfully
In your heart they're always there
Loving each other strongly
In your eyes they will always care
Loving each other carefully
Playful eyes, tender smile
Loving each other physically
As tho they would walk for a thousand miles
Loving each other emotionally
-Date unknown

Other People's Heart

Two hearts beating together
Both alike but so far apart
Love is a word un-smart yet clever
How hard it is to get into someones heart
As much as you try
they hide in the shadows
Holding in so many lies
Like flowers in meadows
Pulling them out
is not an easy task
They sit and shout
And hide behind their masks
Two hearts beating together
Both alike but so far apart
Love is a word un-smart yet clever
How hard it is to get into someones heart
-Date unknown

Rain or Tears

Alone
Walking down the street
Your heart pounds like thunder
As he has just said the words you regret to hear
Suddenly you are drenched
Is it raining?
No, you are crying
The tears of sadness pouring on your head
Will the rain ever stop?
This is very unlikely for all has been said
Puddles of emotions fall to the floor
Peace and quiet left the day you were alone in the street
-Date unknown

Hell Bound

The pain you gave like a knife through the heart
the wind wont give an answer; my life falls apart
You ripped me open and pulled me to shreds
the whole time I'm thinking I would rather be dead
A black candle burns, your face is near
the flame grows stronger, you begin to fear
if worse comes to worst you will die in time
Never to see or hear the drop of a dime
If worst comes to best, as best it can be
You will have to live in hell for all eternity
The fire is so hot, your skin turns crisp
"Why did I do this" you wonder, gone in a wisp
This pain soon dies as comes another
This pain is different than any other
This is the pain that you left in me
as you went to hell for all eternity
I did not send you as you may think
It was all the ones you hurt, now doesn't that stink?
Your luck went sour, your life turned bad
I bet you think twice before making someone sad
Never again will I trust you
I now turn away from someone so cruel
To break my heart and many others too
I'm so glad this happened to someone like you
You belong where you are in your home made of fire
As I give into temptation and to desire
to make you go, to make you stay
in hell for life, not just for today
-Date unknown

Scared

I'm scared to love
for fear of heartbreak
and all the pain that comes with it
I'm scared to love
for who knows how long
this love will last for not all are forever
I'm scared to love
for what if I'm not loved back
Or the love he gives is false
I'm scared to love
but not to love you
For my heart and yours beat together
And tho you're afraid to admit
it is our love which you fear
as does all not only me
All are scared to love
for fear of getting to deep
you are not alone, so can we be afraid together?

August 30, 1998

Land of Silence

All alone, on the verge of insanity
where everyone stands
screaming in silence
No one can hear
your cries loud as thunder
your tears pouring rain
your head feels like lightening
your heart is in pain
With every waking minute
The cries become stronger
For I have found I cant live
without you any longer
Suddenly you are heard
by the one above
As he offers you
joy and love
you then accept
with pleas of happiness
taking the joy upon you
and the love into your heart
for you are no longer alone
he is with you always, never apart

May 31, 1997
*This is one of the poems written for my late father.

Always in My Heart

Together forever; two friends once said
But they didn't know what laid ahead
Broken hearts, needless lies
Life and death and tearful eyes
But you and I are not those friends
For our friendship will not end
Tho we've seen more than enough
We must stand together strong and tough
No one can tear the two of us apart
For you will always be in my heart
May 29, 1997

*This was written for my best friend Adrian shortly after my father passed away. To this day we are still friends :)

My Love

My love for you is like the sun
It burns forever bright
Its like the flame of a candle
burning thru the night
My love for you is like the rain
falling from the sky
Even tho now and again it stops
It never says goodbye
My love for you is like a river
the way it forever flows
Winding to a spacious sea
my love forever grows
My love for you will never die
it will get stronger fast
And like a beautiful memory
my love will forever last
October 24, 1996

Suicide Dreams

With tears in her eyes, she grabs the knife
Not thinking of what she's doing to everyone's life
Her life is hell, She doesn't belong
Every thing's right, but it all feels so wrong
She closes her eyes and lowers the blade
It flows, she floats. And birds begin to sing
Is this it? Am I gone?
She wonders in a silent song
Then dashes awake with tears in her eyes
And realizes she cannot say goodbye.
September 28, 1996